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Another month passed already, and the economic crisis shows no signs of abating yet. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to get used to feeling this low-level anxiety as a sort of backdrop to whatever else it is that I’m dealing with that day, which is, of course, always something, since life is a series of problems.

This crisis seems to be, for all of us, a unique type of constant spiritual challenge to “let go and let God.” The economic problems we’re currently experiencing are more serious and widespread than anything most of us have ever seen before, which gives rise to a totally unfamiliar psychic situation. The best way I can think of to describe it is to say that the fundamental economic security that we’ve always taken for granted is ours no longer. Our investment and retirement accounts seem to vanish before our very eyes, or at least to be mere houses of cards that topple at the drop of a pin, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

This helplessness, not only of ourselves individually but also of all of us collectively, including the experts, and the billionaires, and the leaders, and even all those cutting-edge business people in Japan and elsewhere, societies that are probably not past their economic peak the way America may be past its economic peak—anyway, the fact that none of these folks have a clue what to do either is what makes this particular crisis seem so utterly out of the reach of human control. Most other crises in the past have appeared to have some limitation to them, but not this one. It seems as omnipresent and as uncontrollable as the Flood.

Ah, the illusion of being in control! I’ve written elsewhere, in my book and probably in this blog as well, that the best thing that can happen to any of us is for us to realize that we’re not in control, that when we’ve thought we were in the past, it was an illusion. But now I see that although I was acting in accordance with this insight in most areas of my life—i.e., turning it all over to God and letting him help me with all of it—I was still, unconsciously, grounded in this fundamental economic security that we Americans have enjoyed pretty steadily since before I was born in 1956. Even though I had realized I wasn’t in control of most of the variables of my life, I nonetheless operated on the unconscious but huge assumption that the basics of the money system would stay the same. Of course, I occasionally had money problems and worries, but there was always that basic system to fall back on, where if you worked and did what you were supposed to do, you had both current money and retirement funds for more or less as long as you needed them. Now, however, we’ve lost that certainty. We don’t know if our investments and 401K’s are going to hold out or not, because we know for a fact that they can shrink dramatically even as we speak, and that no one knows how to stop the shrinkage. We can no longer take for granted that basic system, or our own earning power, or job security, or even our very employability, if we were to have to look for new work. We are definitely not in control.

In my book, I write about how I wanted things and asked God for them, and in a later spiritual stage I found myself wanting things for others, so then I would ask God for those as well, but now, I find myself wanting—in the sense, that is, of feeling almost physically hollowed out by the absence of that basic security. I’m constantly grasping for it, only to feel it slip through my fingers with every new drop of the Dow. First I wanted, then I wanted for others, now I am wanting, I am lacking. It doesn’t feel good.

Another thing I find myself falling prey to is being teased by the market whenever it comes back one day and not only gets into positive territory but actually makes big gains, only to lose it all the next hour or the next session or the next week.

But, thank the Lord, the solution to all of this vacillation and all of this worry is the same as for all other kinds of worry:

BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

For sure, it’s hard to do in this climate of near-panic, but we can do it now if we’ve done it before, and if we’ve never done it, we can learn to do it. The only difference is that now, more of us see more clearly than ever how utterly dependent on God we are, since we can’t even rely on that old familiar system of money and work and basic economic well-being. If only, instead of despairing, we will truly turn to God through meditation, prayer, deep relaxation of both body and mind, or even the “groanings too deep for words” of the Holy Spirit, and ask God to help us and show us what to do and guide us and keep us and continue to love us, which we know he will do because that’s what Jesus said, then we can find peace of mind and, eventually, the complete joy of God’s abundance and bounty, where no one has to concern themselves with money ever again!

In short, where most of us, myself included, used to depend on that fundamental economic security, now that that’s been pulled out from under us, so that we know our dependence on it was a mistake, maybe we’ll finally come to realize, more deeply than ever before, that God is the only sure foundation for us to build on or lean on!

I confess, though, that even when I’ve made up my mind to adhere to the discipline of choosing this foundation over and over, during the workday I often find myself peeking at the market readings that are so neatly tucked into the corner of my internet homepage–hey, I didn’t put them there, they did! Anyway, I find myself peeking, & if the market happens to be up at that moment, I breathe a sigh of relief, and if it happens to be down, I say to myself, “Of course it’s still down, the bailout & other measures haven’t had time to work yet; things will be better, but not yet.” But the point is that WHATEVER is happening with the market, now or at any other time (and indeed, whatever is happening with the world, period!), if we want to be truly grounded and positioned to receive real joy, we’ve got to be resting in God instead of in the worldly things. In God’s love & reassurance & promise & hope. And it’s always up to US, every minute of every day, to put ourselves there. It’s that simple: God or the Dow?

Wrote this the other day to a friend who struggles with mild depression, but who, thanks be to God, is slowly but surely learning to lift herself out of it using the only method that works (getting in touch with the Creator & aligning herself with his purposes).

>>>For several days now I’ve been reading the Kierkegaard book that I studied with Dr. Lacy at Rhodes exactly 30 years ago this fall. The Sickness Unto Death is absolutely fascinating because now I have the frame of reference to appreciate it more fully and to see just how accurate K was about what ails humankind. “The sickness” is despair, which K keeps on saying over and over (and demonstrating with spot-on examples) is universal, although most people don’t realize they’re in despair because they successfully fend off the feeling by staying busy or otherwise distracted most of the time. And he says that the only cure is to get in touch with God and get right before God, and to be the self that God means for each of us to be. Of course those aren’t Kierkegaard’s words, but let me find some of his words for you. Let’s see, how about this: “The condition of the self when despair is completely eradicated: by relating itself to its own self [i.e., by not trying to be someone it’s not] and by willing to be itself [the self God intended it to be], the self is grounded transparently in the Power which posited it.”

Also, excuse the masculine pronouns here, but “This view [that despair is universal] will doubtless seem to many a gloomy and depressing view . . . . Yet on the contrary it is uplifting, since it views every man in the aspect of the highest demand made upon him, that he be spirit.”<<<

Wow, that "SK" guy really knew what he was talking about, didn't he? And to think he only lived to 42. Another thing he said that's in total agreement with many posts in this blog are his "last words" (not really his last but what he had written in his journal as his last): God is love!

In another email to another friend this week, I found myself expressing the whole thing in a slightly different way:

>>>Hope you’re able to keep any new perspectives you gained from your travels operable now that you’re back at the grind. Life is either going around in circles endlessly, or an upward spiral, depending on what we do with our minds (souls!).<<<

God’s peace to all who read this!

Sara

I hope no one minds when I use an email as a blog post, but when I write something while inspired, I want to share it. The following message was sent in response to someone who grew up in a fundamentalist church in Atlanta and who had written me about her inability to “feel God” the way she wishes she could because she needs help with her relationships and her worries about the health of her aunt. She had said she had attended a liberal church once with her friend but had not felt anything so had not returned, and had decided that she just was not able to experience God. She said she was more apt to relate to Native American belief systems, since she can sometimes feel “the Great Spirit” in nature. Here was my reply:

>>>I’m not surprised that nothing happened when you went to church, because God not found in church, even liberal churches! And I totally get why you don’t go; none of my close friends do, and I didn’t myself from age 24 to 44. And even presently, although I’m amazed at how much I enjoy it, church is not essential to my religion/spirituality! I had suggested your going with your friend because you had said you’d do anything in your power to make the relationship work.

The “great spirit” you feel in nature IS one and the same “God”—the God of Love & creativity! People who get Jesus right (i.e., _not_ your mother’s Southern Baptists, whom you said you couldn’t stand!) understand that his message was that simple: God is Love and God loves us! And all we have to do is accept our acceptance!

You might find it interesting that most progressive Christians do not think Christianity is the only valid religion. The Native American stuff is fine. Whatever works to help a person make sense of life.

My point in all of this is that you are more of a believer than you think—especially when you consider your compassionate nature and respect for all other creatures. And you don’t have to “pray” at all, that’s your business entirely! But when you’ve asked for advice with all these problems, including your concerns about aging & death, I’ve responded in religious terms because i think that’s the only way for people in what Jung called “the second half of life” to find genuine peace and happiness.

You seem to be on the verge of some kind of spiritual transformation, yet you also seem pretty hostile toward the whole idea of religion, especially organized religion. Maybe God is trying to lead you to see that you can become closer to him/her/it without doing it through organized religion. Meditation & yoga are super, especially if practitioners view them as ways to get in touch with the God within themselves, and to be at peace with the universe. What you need to do is simply start trying to get truly into sync with this huge power that is way bigger than you and way more effective than you. It’s there, it’s good, and it’s on your side! Since we, left to our own devices, are alone and powerless against pretty much everything, it’s to our great advantage to learn to let go of our attempts to control things and to relax into the flow of the universe. I think high achievers like you often have more trouble doing this because they’re not used to admitting their powerlessness. But once you experience enough of that powerlessness—whether in your work or your relationships or your health or the health of your loved ones—you may finally get to a point where you’re ready to admit it and to let go like Buddha did, and accept the love & assistance of the God of Love, however you understand him or her to be.

As far as your failure to “feel” God’s presence, I admire your honesty about it, and all I can say is that nobody feels it much of the time, especially not if they don’t do things to make it likely they’ll feel it. But from the brief glimpses and glimmers of joy that do seem to be present in everyone’s life, we can reason that that joy is evidence of a good Creator, and that we will someday know it in adundance. I think music is a main avenue for this, and it does not have to be church music, for God’s sake! God made all music, and if you’ve ever felt deep joy from listening to or singing yourself (perhaps especially with others), then maybe you can learn to count that as “feeling God.” Very few people feel God in church, but many make the mistake of looking for him there. That’s not where he is; he is within you and within others and within your relationships with others. And also, of course, within nature.

Re your friend’s church attendance, it sounds to me as though you’re jealous of it, and I would be too if I were in your position. But that probably adds to your hostility toward religion in general. And since it’s all bound up with the whole idea of God, then as long as you feel that hostility toward her going to church, then it’s keeping you from finding your own peace & happiness. I watched the movie “The Bucket List” last night, and it was said that Jack Nicholson’s crusty character died peacefully because he had opened his heart. It’s that simple; you asked me for advice and I tried to give the best advice I knew of, which was that you need to learn to let go of everything you’re prone to cling to and to open your heart to the reality of the universe. Many people never do this—that’s why it’s called The Road Less Traveled—but you asked for advice and I gave it!<<<

God’s peace to all who read this!

Sara

Clearly exasperated, a woman from Atlanta who’s been writing me back & forth for relationship advice asked, “Why is love so hard?”

I like the reply I found myself writing:

>>>Why is love so hard??? I believe it’s because the purpose of this life is not for us to be “happy” all the time, not for punishment but for our own preparation for the next life, or for a higher level of consciousness, or whatever you want to call it!<<<

My friend Lamar Massingill, the religion editor of the Magnolia Gazette newspaper, wrote a column last week about Jesus as the Ultimate Caregiver, who always found the time to change his plans (or otherwise inconvenience himself) in order to be there for people who needed him. In praising Lamar for the column, I told him it had resonated with me on many different levels, especially his point that the person who practices this kind of healing is also deeply healed him- or herself. I said that this point was one I was always trying to make in my own writing—that to live for God and other people instead of for yourself causes most of your problems & pains to vanish into thin air!

To change the subject slightly, twice in the space of 48 hours I found myself being careless in my interactions with others. First, on the way back from a family beach vacation I stopped by to visit with my old friend Malcolm, who used to own a charter fishing & scuba diving boat in Destin. He and his wife & I had a very spirited & enjoyable conversation, but I had hoped to ask Malcolm if he still believed in God, since I hadn’t talked to him about faith in decades. But I forgot, or never got around to it. I hope he does believe, because I hope he’s happy, truly happy.

My other instance of carelessness occurred Saturday evening at a wedding of a kid who grew up living next door to me, although she hasn’t lived there in years now, and I don’t keep up with her or her family on a regular basis. I get the sense that the bride is one of those few lucky people who _really_ believes in God, and if I had had the chance to tell her how rare that gift of faith is, I would have, but I knew I probably wouldn’t get the chance at the reception, and I didn’t. When I did talk to her, however, for some reason I made a conversational mistake that I wish I hadn’t. In trying to express how much she and her sister had grown & changed, I said, “I swear to God I wouldn’t have recognized either one of you” and then, remembering that she seems to be a more conservative Christian than I am and probably doesn’t say “I swear to God” very often herself, I tried to retract it but of course it was too late. My point here is that if I had been careful I would not have used language that could indicate that I don’t take God seriously myself, when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. (I mean I take him so seriously that my faith is the absolute center of my life and has been for decades, but this bride didn’t know that!) Maybe I’ll get a chance to let her know sometime soon, but if not, I guess when my book comes out, she’ll find out then!

God, help all these folks as well as everyone else in the universe, with everything they do!

THE SECRET to healing & happiness (not to mention getting prayers answered) is getting in touch with God (the God of Love) and opening yourself to discovering what he wants you to learn and what changes he wants you to make in yourself & your attitudes.

For example, in the years depicted in _Petitioning God_, I had to learn to stop expecting more from Belinda than she was prepared to give. Now, I need to become more willing to promote my book (instead of just sitting here writing it all the time).

It’s our human nature to resist this move of focusing on the God within us & doing what he lovingly urges us to do, but it’s the only way to be happy.

For example, I resisted my growth with regard to Belinda, repeatedly trying to pretend our relationship was more than it was, even after she met her honey Nicole, when at first I assumed they had merely met by chance when actually Belinda had aggressively tried to meet someone online, & finally succeeded. Currently, I struggle every day with the part of me that still wants nothing to do with promotion or even finding a publisher because it thinks it doesn’t want the changes that will take place when all that stuff happens. But I will keep working on it and, with God’s help, will triumph over it in yet another step of spiritual growth, which is, after all, the whole purpose of this life. Because I know that continuing to progress on the journey is the only way to true peace & joy!

Good luck in your journey, & feel free to write me anytime with problems or questions!

God’s love,

Sara

The great psychologist Carl Jung spoke of “the work of the second half of life,” which is the task of spiritual & psychic transformation that is necessary for happiness after humans reach a certain age.

This fact, which it seems to be our human nature to avoid for as long as we can, strikes me as very good evidence that the whole purpose of life is for us to grow spiritually. The poetic genuis Keats put it concisely: the world, he said, is “the vale of soul-making.”

The promise of heaven is often best understood by those whose lives consist of chronic pain or poverty, because their situations lead them to put their hopes in eternity instead of continually trying to make this life meaningful & satisfying. They don’t try to do that in the first place, & therefore don’t struggle with the disappointment that life doesn’t meet their expectations the way “normal” people tend to do. Much of the depression that is so rampant in our privileged society could be alleviated instantly if the sufferers could learn to focus on eternity instead of this temporary (& frequently frustrating) life.

In my 20s and 30s I was less happy with my life than most of my peers were with theirs. But in my middle age, I look around me & find myself infinitely happier than nearly all others, so I must be onto something, & here it is:

To be deeply happy we have to accept (& continually re-accept) that life on earth is not meant to make us happy! This doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy earthly happiness when it’s available, but we have to stop expecting it to be available. This is the only rational response to the observation that all earthly happiness is fleeting, and life is difficult, for everyone, everywhere.

To stop expecting earthly happiness to be available is to stop expecting our life circumstances (including people, money & career matters, activities & possessions, & all other life circumstances) to be to our liking. Once we do this, the logical next step is to seek happiness within, by communing with God & our conscience, which is God within each of us.

When we do this we usually find that God, through our conscience, is telling us what we “ought” to do—about any problem that may be bothering us, or simply about life in general. If we then in fact do what this Inner Ought tells us to do, we will have taken a step toward deep happiness. It may not be apparent right away, but have faith, because it will be apparent soon.

The Bible passages about not clinging to your life but giving it up for eternal life, & about storing up for yourself treasures in heaven instead of on earth, apply here. And I write about how I did it in my book, as described elsewhere on this website. (That’s because what I found I really had to do to get my prayers answered was precisely this following of the Inner Ought.) Don’t try to intellectualize it too much, just get in there and start working on your own spiritual growth & relationship to God. Trust me, you will be happier this way.

As always, I am glad to help if you want to email me. It’s the least I can do!

Blessings on you as you seek your God.

Sara

I have a movie rec for all us spiritual seekers: AUGUST RUSH, currently in the New Releases section of my Blockbuster, as well as many other sources, I’m sure.

The one quote I went to the trouble to write down was a line spoken by Robin Williams’s character:

“Do you know what music is? It’s God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe.”

Blessings!

Sara